Missionary Isn’t Boring—You’re Just Doing It Wrong
Think missionary is boring? Turns out, it’s not the position—it’s your technique.
For years, missionary has been unfairly labeled as the “vanilla” of sex positions—safe, predictable, the choice of those who refuse to embrace their inner acrobat. It’s the missionary of sex positions, if you will. But what if I told you that missionary isn’t the problem? You are.
Look, I say that with love. If your missionary position feels like a bland, lifeless exchange of body heat, the problem isn’t the position—it’s how you’re using it. And I’m here to help you spice it up, reclaim its glory, and perhaps even make it your new favorite.
Why Missionary Gets a Bad Rap
Missionary has been associated with routine or mundane, which is basically a way to say “boring” in the bedroom. It’s the position that’s most commonly illustrated in sex ed textbooks, and let’s just say, those aren’t exactly giving the most Kama Sutra vibes. Generally some may think it lacks creativity, limits pleasure, and is just a default setting rather than a custom choice.
But missionary, when done right, can be one of the most intimate, pleasure fulfilling, and outright steamy sexual positions. It’s time for a rebrand.
How to Make Missionary Great Again
1. Get the Angles Right
If missionary feels lackluster, chances are you’re lying there like a board. Newsflash: Angles matter.
• Legs together or apart? Closing your legs slightly can create more friction and a tighter fit, which often increases sensation on the right places.
• Hips up! A small pillow or wedge under the receiving partner’s hips can change the entire sensation by angling the pelvis for deeper penetration.
Check out Amazon for wedge pillows that will be perfect for this. Click here.
• Elevate the giver’s position. Propping up on hands instead of resting on elbows can create better movement and control.
2. Make It More Than Just “In and Out”
Missionary gets a bad rap because some people treat it like a straight line bus route instead of a full body experience. There are so many ways to create new erotic sensations:
• Try grinding instead of thrusting. A slow, circular motion can hit different pleasure points and enhance clitoral stimulation.
• Mix up the rhythm. Alternate between deep, slow thrusts and quick, shallow strokes. Predictability is what really makes things boring so conversely, variation is what makes them hot.
• Engage your whole body. Press your chest against each other, use your hands, whisper in their ear, please don’t just lie there and hope for the best.
3. Eye Contact and Kissing – The Secret Weapons
Missionary is ideal for intimacy, but too often, people forget to use it to their advantage. Deep eye contact combined with slow, sensual kissing during missionary can take things from “meh” to ground shaking. Studies show that eye contact during sex can increase arousal and deepen emotional connection. (Also, it’s just plain sexy.)
4. Get Those Hands Involved
Your hands aren’t just taking a break.
• If you’re on top, try pinning their hands down, cradling your partners face, or holding their hips.
• If you’re on the bottom, run your hands along their back, dig your nails in (gently or not so gently), or hold your partners face to pull them deeper into passionate kisses.
5. Variations to Level Up Your Game
Think missionary is just one position? Think again.
• Missionary with Legs Over Shoulders → More penetration, more sensation.
• Side Saddle Missionary → One leg draped over their side creates a whole new angle.
• Missionary + Toy Play → A vibrator or cock ring can add extra stimulation.
Check out our blog on the best premium cock rings by click here or the image above!
• Missionary with a Twist → Shift your bodies slightly to create more friction and contact with different erogenous areas.
It’s Not the Position, It’s the Execution
Missionary isn’t boring, boring missionary is boring. If it feels boring, it’s time to get creative about how you’re doing it. Adjust the angles, change the rhythm, add more variety, and embrace the options available.
So before you write it off, try these suggestions, and then tell us if missionary is still the “boring” option. (Spoiler alert: It won’t be.)
Discover More and Stay Connected
Explore more insights, stories, and resources on our homepage and dive into our archives for inspiration and tips. Our online shop for our lifestyle creations.
Follow us on these for more exciting updates and lifestyle content:
Instagram | Facebook | X | Tumblr | Medium | Substack | TikTok
This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you purchase through them. Rest assured, these are products we genuinely use and trust.
If you enjoyed this, hit follow for more insights on relationships, intimacy, and self-discovery.